Photis Kassianides spent 25 years working on equity trading floors in the City before setting up a divorce coaching service for high-achieving men. Here he writes about the destigmatisation of wellness in today's Notebook.

The destigmatisation of wellness for City men

Something has been quietly afoot in the City over the past few months. Wellness practices that were once openly scoffed at have become almost commonplace.

People have been quietly admitting to all sorts of routines previously considered ridiculous. Ice-bathing? Yep. Fasting? Done that. Breath-work? Count me in. Meat-reducing, 30-phytonutrient weekly meal-prep? Obviously. Pilates, journalling, meditation? Yes, yes, and yes.

Seeing this change first hand at the FIX EMEA trading conference in London was a real eye-opener. The FIX EMEA event, run by the trading technology standards body FIX Trading Community, is one of the fixtures of the European trading calendar — which makes the presence of a dedicated Wellness Hub all the more telling. I had attended the event in St Paul's for years as a sales-trader, working for banks including JP Morgan, UBS and Bank of America Merrill Lynch. But this year was a first for me as a coach. My company, Emotional Equity, which helps coach high-achieving men through divorce, had a stand at the Wellness Hub alongside a Pilates instructor, breath-work specialists and a wellbeing solutions business offering blood-pressure tests.

It was great to reconnect with former colleagues, clients and peers and see how much the conversation around wellbeing has evolved. Not so long ago, topics like stress, burnout and divorce were things many of us simply kept to ourselves. You got on with the job and dealt with it privately — especially, but not exclusively, the men. That shift reflects a wider movement in the sector: City employers have increasingly signed up to initiatives such as the City Mental Health Alliance, a membership body founded in 2009 by City workers to promote positive mental health in the workplace, and mental health has become a standing item on many firms' employee wellbeing agendas.

The idea of traders attending a breathwork workshop during a conference would have sounded like madness a few short years ago. But on the day they were curious, engaged and open to trying something different.

For someone who has worked in banking and made the switch to the wellness sector, it is encouraging to see the conversation changing, and how City firms are looking at preventative wellbeing services. Poor employee mental health costs employers £51bn a year. The UK financial sector has the highest proportion of staff burnout and the highest average annual cost per employee. Men's mental health has been a particular focus of public health campaigns in the UK, where men account for around three-quarters of suicides, and initiatives encouraging men to talk openly — from Movember to men's walking groups — have gathered pace over the past decade.

It is far better to help your staff before they have an issue. Good for them, good for the bottom line. A win-win.

One small step for man…

When you are divorced or going through the process, weekends can sometimes feel more like hours to get through rather than enjoy. So the chance to talk things through, or just get out of the house, can be a game-changer. Walk-and-talk groups — informal outdoor peer conversations — have become an increasingly popular format for men's community support across the UK in recent years.

Last weekend I hosted a Walk & Talk on Clapham Common, the first event of its kind specifically for divorced men in South London. I expected to be doing the walk alone. It would be "symbolic", my brother said. I am happy to say I was joined by a mix of hedge funders and bankers. I was surprised how good it made me feel. Who knew?

A trip with my daughter

"Do this for me. You'll be uncomfortable but do it anyway!"

"No Florence, I am under no circumstances holding some stranger's hand."

Thankfully, Florence's request was to put our phones away and enjoy the show. I was at a Florence & The Machine concert in Edinburgh with my daughter. We almost didn't go, but bloody hell am I glad we did.

The four-hour train journey to Edinburgh gave us an opportunity to chat. She had been away for five weeks; there was a lot to talk about. And she couldn't escape.

I had been fearful that I would never have this sort of relationship with her or my son. The gig was a welcome reminder that divorce doesn't mean the end of those relationships.

The Odyssey: An epic fail

I have a thing for Greek mythology, and I don't care how clichéd that is coming from a Greek-Cypriot! Since childhood I have been drawn to the story of Odysseus, the warrior king who spends 10 years finding his way home, geographically and psychologically. Homer's Odysseus is cunning, intelligent, funny, arrogant. I couldn't wait to see Christopher Nolan's Odyssey in July. Oh dear.

Thank the gods for Madeline Miller. The Song of Achilles is a book I have recommended more than any other.

Quote of the week

"Success is the product of daily habits."

James Clear, Atomic Habits

Motivation may get you started, but consistency and routines keep you going.

All-nighters have become all-dayers

My generation started rave culture and, it seems, never really stopped.

We're still going — we've just shifted to all-dayers. Instead of 11pm–4am, we've now opted for the rather more civilised 4pm–11pm.

Solara hosts the UK's fastest-growing club night for the over-40s, and at the main event in London Bridge, your photo ID is to prove you're not someone younger trying to sneak in. Are they scared the "youngsters" would be traumatised by the sight of the over-40s on a dance floor, or vice versa?

It's a day of top house music, and a dancefloor like any other. But the conversations have changed somewhat. Not so much "Where you from and what you on?", rather "Where you sat, when's your Uber?"

Photis Kassianides is the founder of Emotional Equity.