SOMETIMES one is asked to say “a few words” about an honoree being feted at a party. The choice of a close friend as speaker is meant to produce anecdotes about generosity, kindness, and perhaps humor.

Is there a place for roasting as a form of tribute in our thin-skinned culture? Is goading as a form of humor even acceptable? Some local comics in noontime shows have tried this mocking approach with contestants in the game portion. Somehow, after audience feedback, these verbal bullies are made to back off from this style of entertainment.

Roasting that uses a disparaging approach as a left-handed compliment is more acceptable in the West. Certain time-honored events in the United States, like the President’s dinner with the press, feature roasting to engage the chief. This can turn into a tense affair when the subject is thin-skinned, humorless, and vengeful. He may even skip the event or cancel before it starts with an unlikely assassination attempt off-site and probably choreographed. (Investigations are still ongoing behind the scenes.)

In an international film and TV awards night that was televised to a wide audience two years ago, roasting by the host was badly received. Did the last-minute choice of host result in a personality not quite licensed to throw barbs at more luminous personalities? The stand-up comic delivered remarks from the stage that simply fell flat. Reaction shots of one subject of the roast showed a stone-faced expression, followed by an eventual exit from the event. (You need to climb a few more rungs in the status category, Mr. J.)

When a business colleague is asked to give parting words to a retiree, he may choose a roasting route. “This is a man of many talents, including those he pretends to have. He can teach pickleball to novices like a master. And this is a game he has only watched once.”

Is there a less boring alternative to a mushy tribute for a birthday celebrant aside from roasting?

One possibility is to set up an interview format for the man of the hour. A celebrity host can go on stage and ask irreverent questions that the subject can answer. (What is your favorite place for relaxing?)

The tit-for-tat aspect of an interview format sustains a friendly battle of wits, like a conversation between friends. Ribbing is allowed to deflate a victor’s euphoria with a line like, “Is this your first trophy?” The victorious subject can respond gracefully: “Hopefully the first of many more.” (What about you?)

Many comedy teams, like the old tandem of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, require one to play the “straight man” and the other the “wise guy” with the witty repartee. In the ribbing interview, it is clear which one on stage should get the laughs. This exchange can be loosely scripted for maximum effect.

Even at a table where a VIP may be thrown in with strangers, as in a wedding party, it is part of social graces not to limit conversations to one’s seatmate or spouse. Maybe a general question can be addressed to the VIP who intimidates everyone — Sir, would you like more wine?

An interview can also allow the participation of invited guests in attendance. The host can ask for questions from the floor — anyone wants to ask our boss a question? Don’t be shy. Someone may walk up to the microphone — Sir, when are you retiring? (Next question, please.)

Interviews are like conversations in public. A good interviewer can bring out the best in a subject, at least in terms of witty excuses.

Political subjects choose a friendly interviewer who is not confrontational. The exchange is meant to bring out the best angle possible in this photo. Soft questions, which already contain the answer, can be raised. The interviewee is only supposed to give a yes or no.

Ribbing in a dialogue is an effective approach to bringing out a subject’s good points. A good-natured give-and-take is part of good theater. It may even be engaging, especially when the audience can see that the aim is not humiliation but easy rapport and a livelier exchange than a routine tribute speech.

Anyway, tributes for someone in the room or elsewhere are received with the sincerity that accompanies them. Even a truly valued friend can only respond to affection that is sincerely expressed — even without words.

Tony Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH xda.

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